at the treatment center by judy l. brekke

her make-up
thick and overlapping layers
covers
beatings,
hatred,
mental illness

she walks carefully
silently on tip toes
afraid her face
will show
deep
dark secrets

her child-like babble
gives the appearance
of a lost toddler
searching for
a friend
who is not there

he shuffles
down a damp, musty
hallway dragging
a leg stiff as white marble
it collects fluted med
cups rainbow stained

black hair thick
as a horse's mane
slicked back into
pigtails that hang
over his torn brown plaid
jacket with pockets turned out

he passes rooms locked
to keep him in view
of female staff dressed
in odorous and stained
white shirts covering
bulging soft breasts

these keepers
of his must prevent
a second leap
from a broken
third floor window

he cut off
his testicles
with a soda can
pop top

a first day nurse
found him in the kitchen
putting a soft grey object
recently fried in his mouth

he rests
in his dark room
whimpers
"oh please help me"

his self mutilation
was only the beginning
with towels wedged between his legs
he cried softly wanting to be a woman


Born in and again resides in Minnesota with Stephen S. Morse (spent between 1969 and 1982 in the Bay Area). A co-editor of JUICE, (first as a print magazine now an e-zine). She has been writing since age 10 with some seriousness since 1974. Won the Ina Coolbrith Memorial Poetry Award in 1978 and 1979 with the poems sharing a place in the University of California (Berkeley) Archives. Wrote and illustrated a child's book of poetry in 1981- never submitted - it rests on her bookshelf. Now working on a book of poetry with Stephen S. Morse, 'Places that Linger', dedicated to their granddaughter.

She loves roasting marshmallows, watching fireflies, and experiencing life through the eyes and mind of her granddaughter Willow.

Published in: Debris Magazine, Instant Pussy, Mystery Island, Outsider Writers, Poetry Super Highway, Wilderness House Literary Review, Zygote in My Coffee, and others