Father Of Mine

By Nicole Z Lilly

He sat there, bottle in hand
salivating for relief
selfishly escaping
the worlds crumbling crutches.

I blew out my sixteen candles
wishing I could step into
Cinderella chariot
with him by my side.

Guilt clutched his heart
attacking his mentality.
I was an anchor to
his last breath of life.

See Daddy was never there,
never real, not part
of the birthday scene.

It weighed on him like
a lead suit to the soul,
More like a straight jacket
keeping himself safe from himself.

As I turned sixteen,
he turned his back on life.
Bottle of Jack,
his gunshot goodbye.

Robbing me of a chance to
tell him that I love him
inspite of the abandonment
more importantly that
I forgive him.